My grandmother and grandfather have been married for forty plus years. They have seven children together. It was not forty perfect or easy years of marriage. There are soooo many times I remember not seeing my grandfather for years at time. Then he would just pop back up, I mentioned to my father this and he said yes he noticed this as well before I came along. All I know about my grandfather is that he is a truck driver, from the Baltimore area. He did live with grandma but we never spent much time together because grandpa’s favorite past time was hanging out drinking at the bar. According to my grandmother he has been drinking since he was 12, grandpa is now 77.

Needless to say all the drinking and disappearing took a toll on the marriage. Last year was the first year I ever seen my grandfather not drunk, and it wasn’t voluntary. He is undergoing Chemo Therapy to try to combat the cancer in his liver. Grandpa is basically dying before our eyes. It was like a different person that I met. I never met this man before. It was strange, I sat there and talked to him andI found out a little family history. We took a picture together he played with my son. It was great. This is a far contrast from the man who used to chase the boys away with his shotgun.  Although he wasn’t around much it still doesn’t negate that he is my grandfather and I love him.

Since he had been in and out of grandma’s life for years she decided to permanently kick him out the house a few years back, but she still remained in contact with him. So this reunion took place at my uncle’s  (their son) house. So after all of the on again/off again drama my grandmother did one of the most selfless things I have ever seen. She took my grandfather back into her home so he could have a peaceful place to die. She said it was unfair that his kids take care of him in his last days. I was shocked because it had been years since he lived with her. I was in college last time he lived there ( I have been out of college for four years). Through all the ups and downs and numerous separations they remained husband and wife and civil. They demonstrate the bond that should not be broken between man and wife. I am proud of them, I love that they have endured. It’s given me more hope that marriage will and can last a lifetime. My grandpa is also happy telling anyone who will listen how good his wife is to him, while she still refers to him as “Rudy” or  “Grandpa” (not her husband) LMAO!! But we all know they are back together.

After witnessing what I believe is true love and commitment to one another. Listening to  Usher Papers makes me feel some strange way. All these questions go through my head when listening to this song. Can you really give up that easily? How long does it take to fix a marriage? What is a commitment and who does it apply too? Should we air some of the most personal feelings and disappointments in public? Are our careers being based on our marital status? I guess I’m old fashioned because once I say I do its a done deal (If you fck with me you stuck with me). I am not doing it a second time and I am not getting divorced unless something major happens like my husband intentionally kills a family member or tries to kill me, Goes to jail for 70 years, Goes on the run, Becomes a perverted predator, Becomes a woman, Likes a Man. You know big stuff like that!!

What are your thoughts on the state of marriage and commitment?